Four Years

It has now been four years since my husband passed away. I wonder what he would think of all the changes since he’s been gone: 3 more grandchildren; gold paint on the living room walls; our shed demolished in a storm; my short, spiky hairdo.

Some things haven’t changed: his friends meeting every morning at the Blue Top to drink coffee and discuss the world’s problems; the redbird (or a relative) continuing to rip tiny holes in our screened door in the bedroom at 5:30 am every day; my ability to have perfect golf form and yet somehow miss the ball completely when I swing; and of course – missing him.

But I have noticed a subtle change in our lives…we are able to talk about LeRoy, about the “Remember when…” times with smiles and often with laughter. We are not “over” the loss as some have suggested. The tears still come and go and perhaps they always will because we will not get to watch him showing his grandchildren how to play t-ball or ride a pony or catch a perch with a Mickey Mouse fishing pole.

And I don’t know that the “time heals everything” concept is entirely true. I believe it is more that we are choosing to trust the Lord to get us through each and every day as He reminds us that He is faithful through the storms that bring needed rain as well as the storms that bring destruction.

LeRoy would have loved the 3 new grandchildren and he would have approved of the gold living room walls. Losing the shed would not have been a big deal to him. But the short, spiky hairdo? That’s up for discussion…at the Blue Top over coffee.

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